Someone at work gave me an apple that looked like it was from a backyard tree:

Little apple gift
I only eat fruit from stores
Thank you, anyway

A tall man needs much sustenance:

Jeff was inspired by his mac and cheese. He came up with the first one, to which I said that I couldn't write the F-word in front of T-Shirt Face. So he wrote an alternative. I chose to bleep out and still publish the first, in the name of free(ish) speech and because I realized one finds revelation, sincerity and the deepest truths of the universe buried within the oral tissues. His pain is your gain.


So boiling hot
Ouch! Burns on my f---ing mouth!
Stupid bargain buy


When cooled down and thick
Mac and cheese is a delight
Especially two

Regarding my newspaper...

Forty-inch story
Vying to be the longest
Readers bored to tears

Chickenbone Jones sez:

"haha! i have a haiku response to your latest poem! but probably nobody would get it except you and me, and maybe my dad:


wait, i know that line!
don't forget the new phone books,
or the paddleball!"

My dad, er, T-Shirt Face, will get it too! Maybe our dads should be friends. They're probably about the same age. Why don't you boys go outside and play or something?

Sometimes when I get off work at midnight, there's a person stomping coke cans in the parking lot. It makes me afraid.

`Creepy Can Crusher'
In the Journal parking lot
He must hate those cans



Gay limo driver
Skipping toward me at stoplight
`Where iz cazino?'


Fluffy, fluffy cat
Roasting in the summer heat
Ready with my fork

T-shirt face strikes again with the loo talk

Oh man look at that
Looks like it, smells like it too
Better watch your step

Contribution from Chickenbone Jones

OK, it's really from Chickens' owner, Amy. Visit her blog here.


CHIPOTLE HAIKU
Foil-wrapped heaven
Meaty goodness swathed in spice
Hunger dies happy



O, funny Robyn!
Homemade bags and poetry
Who could ask for more?

Bagel time: a daily treat

A bagel a day
My behind gets more jiggly
Oh! Chewy goodness

Moldy fruit haunts me

Yum! Moldy peaches
Brother Bear gobbles them up
Mom tried to warn him


Lovely raspberries!
I cannot wait to eat you
Yikes! Green and fuzzy

A contribution from T-Shirt Face

haiku in the loo?
what are you doing in there?
watch out for the poo...

My husband finds my new-found haiku obsession annoying

husband hates haiku
he prefers the limerick
silly, prancy poem

Inspired by a bad movie I saw last night on TV

Enveloped by death
defrosting in a pocket
minnow swims away

When I was 3, I flew in a plane and rolled down the window.

Flying in a plane
Cold, wet clouds within my reach
It's you who is wrong

In the beginning

This is the haiku that started it all. My intense passion for bacon needed a creative outlet.



The poem in its original, unaltered form:

Greasy fried goodness
only 35 calories?
Pass me another!

Oops, line two has 8, not the required 7, syllables.
An anonymous reader suggested "Just 35 calories"

I love it when we share!

Welcome to the Loo

Don't worry, we'll get down to writing bad haikus in no time. There's no rush, reader-san.

This is where I'll be sharing my thoughts on the world in the most brief of forms -- a haiku. Three lines, 5-7-5.

In between my glorious little poems I may share some things I'm learning about haikus. Because even if my haikus aren't serious, I'm serious about learning the art form.